


Of Fear And Frying Pans

by Insanitea007



Category: Original Work
Genre: Cats YEEt, Fantasy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-02-16 12:49:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18691825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Insanitea007/pseuds/Insanitea007
Summary: Ian is not the Chosen One. He's not Destined To Save Them All From Utter Doom. He's not the hero. However, his long-time best friend, Catherine is.When Catherine decides that she must embrace her destiny and find the Magic Crystal™ that was stolen by some magician from their kingdom eons ago and save their home from The Curse, Ian wasn't about to let her go by herself.She was sixteen, for heaven's sake! And she couldn't cook to save her life, how was she supposed to survive? Sure, Ian wasn't the best at fending off evil spirits or breaking curses or saving anyone who needs saving (he wasn't the best at anything really, cooking seemed to be his only talent) and would probably be more of a hindrance then anything, but what sort of friend would he be if he let a sixteen-year-old girl go off and fight demons or something without at least a full stomach?So Ian went with Catherine.***This is the story of an asthmatic chef, a talking cat with a very dark outlook on life, a frying pan and a girl with a tendency to miscast spells.





	1. In Which Ian Tries To Stop His Best Friend From Searching For A Giant Glowing Rock

Catherine was stubborn, Ian knew that. After all, he was the one who had to intervene when she had gotten into an argument with a noble's son, he knew exactly how pig-headed the sixteen-year-old girl could be. Whenever she set her mind on something, hardly anything could stop her from achieving whatever it was that she wanted to achieve.

 

But this? This took things to a whole new level.

 

"I'm going," Catherine said, her skinny arms crossed and chin set defiantly. "You can't stop me." Ian took a deep breath and released it with a loud sigh. He took his glasses off and ran a hand down his face, wondering how to tell his best friend that she was being incredibly stupid and unreasonable without upsetting her. He wasn't suicidal, after all. After a few seconds of internal debate, he decided to keep it blunt.

 

"You," Ian said after a moment. "Are being incredibly stupid and unreasonable." Catherine glared at him, uncrossing her arms and raising them threateningly. Ian pushed them down.

 

"We'll be having none of that," he said, looking at her with his 'I'm very disappointed with you' face. Catherine scowled under the older boy's glare, retreating into her shirt like an oversized turtle.

 

"I don't care what you say. I'm old enough to look after myself, I'm going," Catherine said quietly, glaring up at him. Ian felt the beginnings of a massive headache coming on. He massaged the bridge of his nose, trying to reign in his emotions.

 

He failed.

 

"YOU ARE NOT GOING!"

 

"YES I AM! I need to go!" Catherine exploded. "I could save our kingdom!" 

 

"So?" Ian snapped, glaring at the younger girl. "You're like _ten_ -"

 

"I'm sixteen!"

 

"I don't care! You're young, you don't even know basic survival skills like building a fire, you could get killed! You're sacrificing your life for a glowing rock!"

 

"THAT GLOWING ROCK COULD SAVE EVERYONE," Cass shouted, throwing her hands up in exasperation. "Plus, I have magic. I'll be fine."

 

"Prove it."

 

***

 

"I won't be fine," Catherine said, staring forlornly at the smoking pile of firewood sitting lifelessly in front of her.

 

"I told you," Ian said, pushing his glasses up smugly. Once he caught sight of her dejected face, he sighed and decided to take pity on her. "Fine then, if you feel so strongly about this, you can go. Not that you weren't going to sneak out the window at night and make a run for it anyways."

 

"I was totally  _not_ going to do that," Catherine said, the beginnings of a smile forming on her face."And thank you! You're the best!" 

 

"BUT." Ian said sternly, holding up a finger. Catherine visibly wilted, her smile immediately transforming into a scowl. "I'm coming with you. I need to make sure that you're eating correctly."

 

The smile blossomed again on the girl's face and she raced forward with her arms stretched out, her long brown hair streaming behind her. Catherine launched herself at Ian with a cheer, catching him in a hug and toppling him over from the added weight.

 

They stayed like that for a moment, just taking the time to enjoy the sun on their backs, the sound of the birds and each other's presence. Then:

 

"Can you get off me now? You're really heavy."

 

"Hey!"

 


	2. Why Kill A Baby?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lol, I don't know what I'm doing. Why is this my life.

"Legend said that there was once a magic artifact that protected the people of the Azadel Kingdom from the evil that sought to destroy them. According to the legend, demons hid in the forests that surrounded the kingdom, and the only thing that kept them at bay and stopped them from attacking the nearby kingdom was the artifact.

 

It's gone now. Apparently, many generations ago, a foolish king had angered a powerful magician, who as punishment, had stolen the artifact and killed the king, his wife and two children in their sleep. Which is just all kinds messed up.

 

I mean come on, if you're gonna kill the king, kill the king. Why you gotta kill a  _baby_? It's a  _ba_ -"

 

"Yes, we get it," Ian interrupted the Carter with a roll of his eyes. "He killed the baby. Get on with the story."

 

Carter, the local bard, glared at Ian. He cleared his throat with a flourish (how do you even clear a throat with a flourish?) and returned to his story.

 

"Anyways. AsI was saying before I got  _interrupted_ ," Carter shot a dirty look at the bored seventeen-year-old, who waved it off with a yawn. "The magician stole the artifact, killed the royal family and fled the kingdom. A total coward, if you ask me, can't even own up to his actions.

 

So he ran away, taking the artifact with him. And 'til this day, no one's ever seen it or the magician ever again, though recently there have been rumours about some strange activity going on in the Desolates. Almost as if it's... magic.

 

But rumours are just rumours. It's all nonsense.

 

The end." Carter finished with a haughty sniff, still glaring at Ian.

 

"Well that was depressing," Catherine commented, staring wide-eyed at the bard. "Do you know what the artifact looks like?"

 

"Well, no," Carter said, his lips pressed together. "It's been gone for so long that everyone's forgotten what it is. We just know that it was purple."

 

"That's a very specific thing to remember," Ian said dryly. "People could've thought to pass down the fact that the thing was round, or made of stone but  _noooo_ , they remembered it was  _purple_."

 

"And that it glowed," Carter said through gritted teeth, looking ready to smash his lute over Ian's skull. "Yes, well the palace didn't have great artists back then, they had to make do with what they had. For example, in Francis the Fickle's painting, there was a strange... flat object that seemed to be floating. Reminded many people of a plate, but they just don't know how to interpret real art. And the tapestry woven Millicent the Mighty highly resembled a snail, but you know, it's old.

 

But all the objects were shown to be purple, and glowing."

 

"Great," Ian said, rolling his eyes. "Now we know that the thing we're looking for is purple and glowing. This is going to be  _brilliant_."

 

 


End file.
